call me ivy


I have a million friends. Queen of exaggeration. But I always feel like I’m surrounded. Not in a ‘the walls are closing in on me’ way, but a joyful happy contented calming way.

I’m not sure how I got so lucky to be surrounded by all of them. I seemed to have positioned myself in the middle of the most amazing group of women. My crew is spectacular. They’re all beautiful, inside & out, clever, talented, hilarious, kind and best of all, they believe all of that shit about me too.

I’m in a mutual love bubble with them.

Trust me, I’m counting my lucky stars.

But all of a sudden something is happening. My friends are changing. We’re getting older and I don’t mean the panic of wrinkles or grey hairs, because thank fuck we listened to our mothers and we’ve been moisturising like crazy for over ten years now, but they’re evolving.

They’re getting married,

They’re getting married and having babies and moving to the suburbs. They’re renovating and re-evaluating and re-financing. They’re taking cooking classes and buying really, really expensive wine and calling themselves “us” and “we”.

I feel like somehow I got left behind. Like there was a sign up sheet for husbands and I was distracted by something shiny and forgot to put my name on the list.

I didn’t even realise that that was where I should be, I’m 28, and I thought I had oodles more time to screw around. But they seem to be on this terrifying fast track to adulthood, where as I am still a grown up child.

It seems that I’m the only one not running head first into happily ever after.

But don’t worry, this is not a pity party. I actually LOVE being single. People say that, and people still pity them. DON’T be one of those people. Just enjoy the ride with me. Dates are the best adrenalin rush there is.¬†Other than risking your life doing something extremely reckless but insanely cool, like swimming with sharks or jumping out of a plane. But really, dating is probably just as risky, if not more life threatening.

I’m writing this for every boy who’s taken a girl on a bad date, for every girl who’s ever been taken on one and for those who are happy and who will never go on one again.

Cheers to us.